As with any journal I’ve ever started, taking time away seems to beget more time away. Filling in the gaps seems too daunting, and complacency too enticing.
With that being said, I stepped away from this blog for nearly two years. During that time, the close family member experiencing the health crisis passed away. Shortly thereafter, years of trying to get pregnant finally paid off. My husband and I have been reeling ever since.
A part of me wishes I had maintained this blog during pregnancy. I experienced plenty of my own frustrations about the lack of information out there for pregnant women and fitness.
As for my experience, I was agonizingly sick nearly the entire pregnancy. The morning sickness was not confined to morning, and it most certainly was not limited to the first trimester. My nutritional goals became as simple as eating literally anything that had calories (I promise, it was the only time in my life that I had to force myself to try to gain weight). I experienced late-onset placenta previa, which limited my ability to exercise during the last half of pregnancy (other than walking and anything else that involved little to no exertion).
For a brief moment when giving birth, my body was stronger than I ever thought possible. But for a much longer time after giving birth, my body was weak and unreliable. I experienced back pain, rib pain, hip pain (in addition to all the normal spots you expect to feel pain after giving birth). I couldn’t pick up my daughter. I could barely hold her.
After what felt like ages of pain, it dissipated. Nearly 10 months after giving birth, I am finally starting to feel like myself. I lost the baby weight quickly, but regaining my strength and stamina has taken much longer. I’ve given my body more grace than I ever expected in terms of appearance, but the limitations on my capabilities frustrated me. Although I am now softer, wider, and all-around differently shaped, I am finally capable of squatting, scooping up my daughter, lifting her over my head, and moving without fear of injury. For that, I am thrilled!
I am also writing this entry during an incredibly strange time in world history. Coronavirus has my little family trapped in our home, and I’m desperate for an outlet. An online journal seems appropriate in a time where physical contact is unacceptable and technology has become our opportunity. With no end in sight, there may be a lot more entries in the near future.
